“It was all our own fault,” Marilla said resignedly.
-Anne of Green Gables
‘And Jane and Michael screamed at him as he passed.’
- Mary Poppins
“Mario stopped and looked in the shop window.”
—The Cricket in Times Square
“Nevertheless, young Woolsthorpe persevered in his studies of natural philosophy in the way a gentleman should, by digging into any suspicious-looking burial mounds he could find in the neighbourhood, filling up his lizard press with as many rare species as he could collect, and drying samples of any flowers he could find before they became extinct.”
—Snuff, by Terry Pratchett
…you know, if you look at it a certain way that’s actually pretty accurate.
“Would you rather X boy or Y boy?”
“What? Oh, don’t mind me, I’m just here studying the mating habits of Homo sapiens. Seeing as how sapience complicates everything it touches, humans’ sex lives are even more interesting than those of ducks. Speaking of ducks, did you know duck penises…”
(I haven’t actually had this exchange, but I could. The beginning question is one I have heard, just not directed at me. Turns out in that group it was strictly volunteers taking part in the highly-euphemistic sex discussions.)
(I did actually read about duck genitalia. You can read it if you want. Beware of animal rape. The TMI should be obvious.)
:(((( I reached the question where you had to choose between relationships that are “Intellectual. I’m much more interested in the mind.” or “Affectionate. I’m SUCH a cuddleslut!” and then I just stared blankly at the screen for a couple of minutes, BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO HAVE ABSTRACT DEBATES WHILE SNUGGLING. I like sex, but I would gladly give it up forever if I could have all of the intellectual discussion and cuddles.
(Results, for the record: You scored 76 Heterosexuality, 36 Homosexuality, and 29 Asexuality!)
You scored 51 Heterosexuality, 28 Homosexuality, and 75 Asexuality!
lulz, IF THERE WAS ANY DOUBT
You scored 22 Heterosexuality, 83 Homosexuality, and 27 Asexuality!
You scored 80 Heterosexuality, 23 Homosexuality, and 0 Asexuality!
You scored 69 Heterosexuality, 13 Homosexuality, and 61 Asexuality!
rofllll i blame it on the disgust that i had at the questions about cuddling
time to become an insufferable tumbly ace
I know, the words ‘cuddle’ and ‘snuggle’ just gross me out. Even if I do actually want to, like, lie around with arms round each other all cosy and quiet and affectionate, I’m not fucking calling that ‘cuddling’ or ‘snuggling.’
Edited to add my result:
You scored 76 Heterosexuality, 36 Homosexuality, and 35 Asexuality!
You are either straight or bisexual (with an interest in the opposite gender) with a moderate to high sex drive.The higher your score in heterosexuality, the more you are attracted to the opposite gender.
A higher asexuality score means that you place a bigger emphasis on the emotional aspects of a relationship and less on the physical.
13 Heterosexuality, 60 Homosexuality, and 71 Asexuality.
A bit skewed by various factors, I think, but better than a lot of online sexuality quizzes…
18 Heterosexuality, 21 Homosexuality, and 73 Asexuality.
Two problems come to mind:
1: What do “sexual fantasy” and “sexual activity” mean? Things that personally give me
warm fuzzy feelings twinges of pain that I think were meant to be warm fuzzy feelings but the wires got crossed, or things that would normally be called sexual? Because there’s no overlap between those two categories at all.
2: Answering “No” to the question of “Would you ever willingly have sex with someone of the opposite gender?” requires you to claim you’re either gay or straight. There’s no plain “No”. It didn’t actually object when I skipped that question, though, despite not explicitly saying it wouldn’t (unlike the ideal relationship questions).